It's about time.  I waited forever to get my new beloved blue van.  Yes, I'm now a van guy.  I purchased a used Kia (it was either a Kia, Daewoo or Hyundai) van for about $1000US so that I could tour the island, and most importantly; haul my boards to the beach.  Paul and Stephen and I headed down to Jungmun Saturday, hoping for some swell based on the wind data, but we were sorely disappointed.  The day wasn't a total bust though, we ended up exploring a little more to the west and seeing stunning Sangbang-san with a possible break in front of it.  (Picture of Sangbang-san included on this page)  I even ventured down a random road (thanks Stephen) that was about 6 inches wider than my van.  Everytime I was thinking about attempting a turnaround in a driveway, I kept being urged on.  So I continued to drive, branches scraping the side of the van, tangerines within arms-reach.  We finally poked out onto a major road, much to my relief.  So after the adventure, we ended up at Gecko's for a burger and fries to make as feel a little better after being denied surf.
Today was a different story.  We decided to give it another shot and drive down to Jungmun around 11am and pray for surf.  Upon arriving, our hearts were collectively pounding.  We'd seen white-water in the harbor, so we knew that there should be some chop building at the beach.  Paul and Stephen jumped out of the van and sprinted to the overlook.  As I parked and got out of the car, I could see them hi-fiving and jumping up and down.  It could only mean one thing; it was time to surf.  They ran back up to the Beast, and we got the boards out, put the fins on, waxed up and climbed into the cold weather gear.  Paul is from Australia, and Stephen has been living in Hawai'i for the past 10 years, so they're both a little spoiled.  The water was a realtively nice 59-60 degrees.  I wore my fullsuit with no booties or gloves and was comfortable the whole time.  Paul definitely got a little chilly towards the end of the session and Stephen didn't stop complaining about it.  I have to give Paul props; it was probably the coldest water he's ever surfed in, and he was only wearing a spring suit.  Stephen on the otherhand is orginially from New York, so he should have known what was going to be coming. 
  Anyway, the surf was running about shoulder high with occasionally larger sets.  The winds were howling offshore, and even in our semi-protected cove, the spray coming off the lip could be blinding.  At Jungmun, the waves break in pretty deep water.  It's super clear here, and I definitely couldn't make out any semblance or resemblance of the bottom.  It was a ridiculously long paddle (Assateague like...) and I actually had to get out, and go closer to the rock point and use the rip to get me out to where I could paddle back into the bowl where the waves were actually hitting.  It was a pretty decent day, although I'm so far from paddle-shape it's embarassing.  We all looked a little rusty out there, but held our own.  The first time I stood up, was like my first time all over again.  I was nervous, I was over-thinking where I was planting my feet, which way I should go on the wave, if I was popping up to early or late, and if I was going to make it.  I made it, and road it for a little bit till it just died on me and I basically walked into the water off my board.  I only got about 5 waves all day because every time a huge set came in, it seemed to be forming further and further out.   It was also pretty draining to paddle for 20 minutes to get out there, and I had little energy to actually paddle for a wave. 
All-in-all it was a good day.  Today was actually the first time I've even touched water in the Pacific (even though this is the where the Yellow Sea and the East Sea meet, it's still part of the Pacific).  It felt so good to get in there, to stand up on a few waves, make a couple turns on the slow waves, and look at the beauty of the basalt cliffs we were facing.  It was probably the most gorgeous surf spot I've ever been in, especially when the little waterfall started flowing from near the Hyatt.  There's another smaller more secluded cove about 400m West of where we surf, but I don't think it breaks as well as our beach.  It is stunning though.  I sit here now, typing, and my heart is racing all over again thinking about surfing.  I know I'll be sore tomorrow, but right now, I'm just ecstatic. 

Today was finally another one of those days that make me so happy to be on Jeju, even though I'd like to have the GOG out here for the surf sessions. 

I'm sure the title of this post will baffle most at first, and intrigue many.  Before I begin, I'd like to evoke an immortal series of lines from Seinfeld:  (Or Steinfeldt as my Grandmother Mary refers to it)

Let's see, (thinking) how shall I put this.

Just put it.

He took it out.

He what?

He took (blows on her glasses twice to clean them) it out.

He took what out?

It.

He took It, Out?

Yessiree Bob.

He couldn't.

He did.

It?

It.

Out?

Out.

And yes folks, that happened to me at work yesterday.  During a little phonics building activity known as the 'Pink Box Game' (ironically enough), a student we refer to as 'Dexter' decided I had been in Korea way too long without having seen my first Korean penis.  Keep in mind, I'd made miniature corndogs for the cooking class, so I was pretty sure I'd gotten the gist, but apparently that was just not satisfying enough for young Dexter.(Please also keep in mind that I lived with a toddler and his family for a month or so, who's counting, when I moved to Florida, and I never once saw his membrum virile despite sharing a bathroom with the little guy.  His father is a different story...) During our Pink Box Game as I asked kids to identify cards with pictures of a Boat, a Book, a Bat, and a Ball on them, Dexter began tucking in his shirt.  Or so I thought.  The child rarely pays attention to any lesson, even the ones that somehow strike basic interest in the congregation, and this exercise was no different.  Perhaps Dexter interpreted my 'Please answer this question correctly so I don't feel like I'm talking to a wall with a bad haircut' look as a sign of genuine curiosity into the workings of the young Korean anatomy.  Unfortunately for Dexter, he could not have been more wrong.  My member is the only one I do not mind seeing.  And that is being generous.  (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)  If I am forced to see the minor extremities of another male, I would pray it not be that of an adolescent, let alone a neonate. 
So there I was, face-to-little-purple-phallus and stunned.  Dexter sat there with a sly grin on his face, that I read as 'Yep, take it all in, this ain't no Gimbap roll'.  I'm not exactly sure of my word usage during the proceeding 10 seconds, but I believe it went something like this;
'Dexter!  No!  Ahni!  Hajima, hajima!!! Go, get out!  Are you kidding me?  Put that thing away!"  (Ahni means NO and Hajima is basically  Don't Do That)
Unfortunately, my wonderful Korean co-teacher named Candy speaks only very basic English and does not know the English word for 음경.  So there I was, escorting Dexter into the hallway (Candy was already out there disciplining/talking to a student that had been misbehaving) and attempting to play charades to let her know that young Dexter had whipped out his wang in front of me and the whole class.  All she could do was laugh, as I walked back into the classroom, trying to refocus and clear that disturbing and minuscule image from my innocent mind. 
Dexter was spoken to, and sent back into class shortly thereafter, with the same sly look on his face.  I guess I can chalk all this up to cultural differences.  I mean, the kids here will try to poke you in the anus if you bend over, poke you in the fly if you are standing up in front of them and will smack your butt just for fun.  I've even learned that elderly Korean women will often ask to see the penis of a vernal youth because it is considered very cute when it's that young and immature. 

Perhaps that's why I get all those propositions on the street late at night...

Here's to cultural relativism!

After sitting in all day on Saturday, talking on the phone, watching movies and reading, I ended up making a quick appearance for the first time at the Darts Bar, or Club Feliz.  I don't know why I hadn't been there before, but I'm pretty glad that I finally made the quick 4 block walk.  It's a pretty chill little bar with a couple of couch/booths, some seats at the bar, a Foosball table, pool table, and electronic darts.  I pretty much go for the darts.  My dart 'obsession' began in Belize, when it was the only thing to keep my interested in the bars while all the students were getting blackout drunk and acting a fool.  I can't say I'm great at darts.  I think it would probably be a stretch to say I'm really even that good throwing, but I can definitely beat most people that have never played before.  The electronic dart board at the bar is a little odd, throwing with plastic-tip darts and not having to do any mind-blowing math.  (Basic subtraction)  But it's really fun.  There are dozens of games you can play, without necessarily having to know what they are ahead of time, and you can even get a card for 5,000won to keep track of you scores and rank you in the bar.  Yep, I bought one Sunday night when I went for what was totally intended to be a quick night of darts, and maybe one beer.  But the road to hell is paved with good intentions...  I ended up staying a little later than I planned, but had a really good time.  Finally had a 'guys night' with Paul which was refreshing, and Ken showed up to make things a little more interesting on the dart board.  The bartenders JC and Tensy at Club Felize are super friendly and incredibly accomodating.  They are a lot of what draws me back to the bar.  Even though they have troubles pronouncing my name, they still make every attempt to keep me interested, entertained or drunk at their bar.

Earlier in the day, Tim, Paul, Meaghan, Caled, Dave, Anna and I all met up at the horse races a little west of here.  It was my first time at real horse races, and it wasn't too bad.  Gambling is fun, but that's the problem with it; I enjoy it too much, so I try to keep myself in check.  I only won a couple bets, but it's nice to go to the track and just kind of have a chill afternoon.  The horses were rediculously tiny, even when compared to the Korean jockeys.  The place was just absolutely packed, from top to bottom inside, and marginally crowded outside.  In the main building, you'd see people with makeshift  picnic blankets sprawled everywhere, men smoking and pacing with the race sheets in hand and worthless tickets littered everywhere.  Being 'tourists', we were ushered to a semi-private both where we had our own tables with comfy office chairs, coffee, tea, and a pretty nice view of the race track.  Just on the other side of the divider wall were the rest of the 'proliterate'; stuck standing shoulder to shoulder while we relaxed in relative comfort.  Not a bad set up.  I doubt it will become a weekly routine for me or anything, but it was a nice experience nonetheless. 

Today was just another day at work.  Nothing great, nothing special.  I did write our director's daughter (the only English-speaking one amongst the two) a pleasantly worded letter detailing my plans for upcoming days off when my friend Lauran comes to visit, my general disdain for my apartment and a few other matters which we never really have time to discuss.  I was pulled in after work to talk about the letter, which is always a nerve-racking experience.  The only reason we get nervous at all is because of the way were are approached.  It's always "Mugg, I need to talk to you about something in private."  The type of sentiment that makes you feel like you're going to get fired, even though you haven't done anything wrong.  This is obviously not the intention at all on our boss' side, but merely a lost idiom.  Annie told me that it wouldn't be a problem to take those days off, but they will affect my vacation time for the rest of the year.  Oh well.  It's not like I'll be getting any other visitors.  And I was told that the bosses were still looking for the 'perfect apartment' and that they hoped to get me out of my current one by the time Lauran comes for her visit.  That's pretty awesome, but I won't be holding my breath.  You never know what their idea of 'perfection' is.  And finally, I think I'll be getting my van this week.  I'm pretty pumped about it.  I'd like a scooter, but the van makes more sense for hauling boards and people to the beach and touring the island, while just camping in the back.  I think it'd be a good move to get a GPS out here so I can figure out where the heck I am during my travels.  I'm really excited to drive the coastal roads and just stop at random beaches and swim. 

Spring is just around the corner, and things are looking up!

First of all, thanks Niall for the postcard all the way from Ghana.  Very impressive. 
In reference to the title, there's a little sarcasm involved.  On the weekends, I actually think about how happy I am to be here and how gorgeous this island can be.  I love walking down to the park overlooking the harbor and playing basketball with some friends and the local Korean kids.  I'll never get sick of visiting the 'touristy' sites around the area.  There is so much natural beauty here that it's some times mind-boggling.  Once it warms up (it's already consistently in the mid to upper 50's with the rare 60F day), I'll be able to snorkel, swim in the ocean, cliff dive, and have bonfires on the beach accompanied by drum music from our Senegalese friends.  Once the snow melts off Halla-san, I'll be able to hike and not freeze/get soaked and the waterfalls will be even more impressive.  Lauran will be here in just over a month, and I am counting down the days for her arrival and trying to plan out perfect itinerary for the duration of her trip. 

I think about all that wonderful stuff rapidly approaching, and then I have a day like yesterday that drags me right back into reality.  Teaching here really has it's ups and downs.  Some days I love it, some days I hate it.  The kids can be really cute and fun, or they can be little devils that you would rather never see again.  Yesterday was one of those down days.  We just switched up our students and classes to coincide with the school year change, and everything is in turmoil.  Our morning class numbers have nearly doubled, and the kids know drastically less English, making them harder to control, and slowing down all lessons, while raising the teachers' stress levels.  The afternoon classes have even grown, and kids are sometimes being haphazardly thrown in there without a ton of consideration as to their educational level.  I have 2 students who can barely even sound out the letters of the alphabet, but have been moved up from their remedial class, to the next step because it is a new session.  It doesn't matter that they slow the entire class down.  It doesn't matter that they are trouble-makers and need constant supervision.  It doesn't matter that the kids have legitimate learning disabilities and can barely learn Korean, as long as their parents are paying money.  Often times parents refuse to acknowledge that their kids are behind or have problems because they are too proud.  There is very little educational assistance or even psychiatric assistance, for that matter, around here.  Many Koreans suffer because of that, and will be looked down upon in society, when different avenues could have been taken to guide them in the right direction.   I have had a vast majority of students without books, chairs or other educational utensils because of a lack of preparation on the schools' part.  I've had to leave little kids to destroy a room, while I explored others for their old books that we needed for class.  The school worries about having everything prepared for when parents come for orientation, but don't seem to be as concerned with whether or not the kids are in a positive learning environment.  It's all in the appearances.  So anyway, yesterday was just miserable.  The kids were acting up, not listening, were not prepared, were ahead of or way behind the rest of the class, didn't have their books, didn't have English names (which are basically required at school), and we didn't even have paper to make copies of text books or make word-searches/crosswords to keep them occupied.  It definitely took it's toll on all the teachers; Korean or Western, and raised stress levels to monumental levels.  Things just piled up until we were all at our breaking points.  Plus we were promised no more than 8 students in our solo classes, but are magically getting 9+ with only a brief 'I'm sorry, but you'll be fine". 

On top of all that other stuff, my bathroom had a leak from the ceiling, and smells like smoke if I turn the fan off.  Plus it's just depressing in here.  The prositute nextdoor that wakes me up at 4am (not from having sex, but from TB type coughs) doesn't help my attitude or my insomnia.  In addition, I thought I ordered chicken fingers at a street-meat stand the other day (I even asked if it was chicken in Korean, and was told yes) only to bite into the fried treat to pull out an octopus tentacle.  Not really that appetizing for me anymore.    Meaghan, Paul and I went out for lunch at a local sushi place that was really nice, but we couldn't read the menu at all.  I ended up with some sort of hard conch-like meat that I couldn't bite through, clear potato noodles, octopus tentacles, and some other random sea creatures which I didn't recognize.  Really not helping out my spirits at all.  Then, my package from my parents was dropped off on Monday, and they forgot to ask for the COD that I was told about.  Awesome, right?  Nope, they just came back the next day and told me to pay.  I was going to refuse, I mean, what can they do, take back the delivery?  But the Korean director paid, and now they will be taking it out of my paycheck.  Ugh...  Just so much crap that stressed me out, and it kept adding up higher and higher.  I was not going to drink at all this week.  I thought it would be good to improve the health of my liver, and keep my money in my pocket.  Tuesday ruined that.  I stopped and picked up a 1.5 litre Cass Red (higher alcohol percentage beer) for 4-5,000Won and a bottle of Scotch. Upon arriving home I got a really sweet message from Lauran, which made me feel much better, so I ended up only having half the beer, and 2 Scotches on the rocks.  Plus of course the dried seaweed that I love so much.  I seriously eat 2-3 packs a night.   I was so frustrated, I intended on consuming the entire vat of beer, and bottle of Scotch.  Thankfully that was avoided.  Oh, and I grabbed dinner at Paris Baggette.  A nice little coffee and pastry shop around the corner where I used to steal internet to talk to Lauran and have tea in the morning.  Last night I grabbed a doughnut, some other pizza type pastry and a delicious apple pie type streudel thing. 

Today was a little better, I had a couple of classes that I really like.  One makes a serious effort at speaking to me in (broken) English, and they subsequently help me learn a new Korean word every now-and-again, and improve my pronunciation.  (They even told me that I pronounced 'chicken' correctly in Korean, and thought it was hilarious that I received octopus instead.  Most of them love it, and eat it alive.  Not like sushi, like still moving.)  On the way home I stopped at my (now favorite) street-meat stand, picked up some REAL chicken fingers, and a kabob looking thing with mouth-watering sweet and sour sauce for less than 4,000Won.  (Around $3.20.)  The place is right across the alley/street from my hotel, so it is quickly becoming a reliable alternative to cooking. 

Well, I think I might just finish my Cass Red, have some seaweed, watch a movie and go to sleep, all the while hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.  It's always one day closer to my first visitor!