Wow, it's been awhile.  I apologize to all both of you that read this.  I have not really been in the best mental space to blog about my life.  Usually if I'm having a ton of fun, or if I'm fairly depressed, I find myself a lot less likely to sit down and share.  When I'm having fun, I don't want it to end, and usually just keep chasing it.  When I'm feeling down, I don't really think the world (save my close family and friends) really cares/needs to know about it. 
  I suppose it's been a pretty turbulent month, filled with it's ups and downs, but I'll shy away from the valleys here.  I fear Pavi and I may have had our last surf session/sessions of the year.  The typhoon season is coming to an end (I'm the the Filipinos are relieved) which means an end to the vast majority of our waves.  We had a morning session where sets were coming in well overhead.  Some how we made it out, but not for long.  We each had a massive bomb or two, but then the clean upset came through and knocked Pav and myself all the way down the beach to the Hyatt.  It was either time to get out, or decide to float to Shanghai.  By the time we'd walked up the beach, the waves had become too choppy for anybody to make it out, so we headed home. 
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  The other weekend, we had a decent little swell on Saturday into Sunday.  Pav and I surfed basically from noon till 6 with a 10 minute break.  The waves weren't incredible, but it was nice to be out there.   I had a few good rides and even snuck in a game of volleyball in between.  Afterwards we went out for Marita's birthday (this is the day after an all-nighter at Geckos and the norebang for Alex's b-day) to Geckos and another norebang.  It was actually ridiculously fun, and nice to have so many people together at the same time.  It was the kind of weekend that made me realize I could stay here another year if I had to, maybe just not at Wee English Zone.  So anyway, Sunday Pavi and I headed up to the beach to look for some surf, and there wasn't much.  We decided to suit up and give it a go nonetheless.  It ended up being a great decision.  We finally surfed the Hyatt cove on the little sandbar that formed outside and a little bit on the edge of the Hyatt cliff.  They were quick shoulder high waves, but the water was so clear it was incredible.  We could see schools of fish swimming under us and skipping across the water in front of us.  I dropped in on a nice little right and could see the sand being sucked into the wall of the wave.  Words can not describe how beautiful it was.  It was a nice warm and clear fall day, with OK waves in the area I'd wanted to surf since I arrived.  It was a really fitting end to the surf season, and one of those days when I'm back in the States that I'll never forget. 
   For Halloween I went to Geckos (4 times in 10 days?) to celebrate with the crew.  I dressed up as the legendary Ken Friesen.  Ken is a Mennonite 'kid' from the Canadian States of America.  Since we both buzz/shave our hair a lot of Koreans think we look the same.  Well, they think all white people look the same, but I guess it's a little more pronounced with Ken and myself.  I borrowed one of Ken's trademark shirts, wore my glass, and did my best not to smile in pictures, as the Kenny does not usually smile.  The costume worked well enough that I had a few double takes and a couple other foreigners thinking I was Kenny from a distance.  Lets hope I'm not that ugly, but you know...   Of course Halloween ended with another norebang session until 4:30am.  I have't norebanged that much my entire time in Jeju, but with El there to belt it out, it would have been tough to have a bad time.   Although I still miss last year's Halloween with Gog and the Mrs. 
  In other news, I had to say goodbye to my good friend Tanja, the dive master at Big Blue 33.  It'd been great getting to know her and dive with her, but like everybody else here, she had to leave some time.  I'm pretty sure our last dive together maybe have been my last dive on Jeju.  It was a nice one out at Seopsom with tons of lion fish and large schools. 
Well, that's about it for now.  Hopefully I'll have something good to write about again in a few days. 
Only 70 days until my last day of work here on Jeju!  Then I've got to get ready for the big surprise birthday party my friends are throwing me at home.  Right...
 
 
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'Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door.'
What do  Korean children treasure more than the ability to swim (while living on an island)?  What puts more sparkle in those tiny black eyes than a brand new 10,000W bill fresh from the mint?  What causes more animosity, treachery, deceit, competition and tears than anything else in the modern Korean child?  No, it's not a new bike.  It's not a computer game.  It's not even Pokemon cards.  It's a simple glittery sticker no larger than the eraser on a pencil (which is actually rare here in Korea...) that comes in the shape of a star or heart.  As a form of positive reinforcement, I have my students compete on workbook assignments.  Clawing tooth and nail through the tedious "I would like some, thank you." sentences as well as the more difficult "I went to the store yesterday to buy some veggies, an apple and juice." these kids will scribble nearly unintelligibly, simply scrawling whatever seemingly correct Engrish seeps from their skulls, all in the hope of ascertaining that beloved and revered sticker.   Once the child has garnished his/her finger tip with the new bedazzled plastic, it is put on a particular sheet of paper containing numerous circles, sometimes representing balloons or cookies.  Every 2-3 months, on Sticker Party Day, these treasures are totaled, allowing for the leading student to get a 'Certificate of Achievement' while the others sit around feeling sorry for themselves saying things like, "Muggahsah Teacha, 3 too" (I needed 3 sticker to tie the winner) or "Mong Teacha, nehgay, joosayo".  (Four more please)  These stickers, upon being tallied by the official representatives (myself and my coteacher) are turned into Dollas, which the kids will spend purchasing Dakboji, snack mix, pb&j, juice, or playing the raffle to maybe win some Pogs (yes, they are still ridiculously popular here) or maybe some Pokemon cards or even a soccer ball, a couple highlighters or a 'ball-pen'. 
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Sticky rice noodles, Ketchup, Sugar, Spicy Vinegar Paste and Onions.
The sticker party is also one of the most boring days for Meaghan and me.  We sit around, doling out old food and damp snacks, while kids attempt to talk to us in Korean, even though we know they can at least say numbers in English.  On the other hand it's a good chance for us to take some candid pictures of the good, the bad, and the ugly in their natural habitat.  On that note, enjoy the following:  (Notice that some of these children have bigger heads then even me.)
 
 
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Munsom Bay
This past weekend I ended up staying in Seogwipo to dive.  I woke up Saturday morning to pouring rain and decided it was a good idea not to camp.  Apparently the rest of the group had the same idea and nobody went to Udo.  Oh well, there's still time.  Anyway, I ended up doing 3 dives.  I had two daytime dives in Munsom Bay where the visibility was 18m+, and there were tons of fish.  At one point I had stripeys (little yellow and black striped fish) following my hand as I went around in circles.   They'd even get bold enough to try and take a nip at my finger.  Another time I ended up being surrounded by thousands of silver fish with yellow lines going down their backs.  Every where I turned, there were fish as far as I could see.  It was really amazing and still so peaceful and quiet.  There were just three divers in our group; myself, Tanja (assistant dive master) and Marcel from Germany, a trained dive instructor.  Needless to say, I was the least experienced there, but still we were all considered experienced divers and could have a little more freedom and less worry in the water. 
The night dive was just as incredible as before.  Definitely more Octopi this time, but no stone fish or lion fish.  I did get to see some squid and scorpion fish, a large box fish and a puffer fish.  The box fish was so chill, he swam right along my finger as I held it out.   After diving we all gathered with Ralf in the dive shop and bs'd over a few pitchers of Max and some snacks, discussing diving spots all over the world (which I know nothing about), cheese and German culture.  It ended up being a great day that kept me away from home from 9am till midnight.   And Ralf said he'd like for me to help at the shop when Tanja leaves to go back to Germany.  It'll be a great way to get some more experience in diving, and maybe one day it will all come in handy.  I mean, what else am I going to do in October? 

School is still the same old.  I think I'd really enjoy it, or at least be able to appreciate it more if we just had some vacation time.  One of my co-teachers asked me what it would take for me to stay on for another year.  My response was:  Lauran would need to move here, and I'd have to be guaranteed at least two weeks in winter off and two weeks in summer.  I'm so jealous of all my EPIK (public school) friends going to Thailand, Vietnam, the Philippines and Japan, while I sit in school teaching kids that don't really even want to learn English.  Some of my kids I love, others I detest.  I really didn't think you could dislike a young child so much, until I met Dexter.  He is just the epitome of everything you hope your child does not become.  He picks his nose and either eats it or puts it on somebody else.  When he sneezes, if we're lucky enough for him to cover his mouth, we usually see some white seepage from his Korean snot rockets firing through his fingers.  When Candy is teaching the kids a new dance to go along with some music they are learning, he chooses instead to do roundhouse and sweeper kicks with the occasional right-hand chop, typically whilst wearing a cape.  Today when we were coloring flags of English speaking countries, he decided to color the American flag with a yellow box and pink stripes.  Pretty close, right?  The Canadian flag was brown, and Australia came out purple.  No, he's not colorblind, he just sucks.  Dealing with Dexter has definitely taught me some patience, which I'm thankful for, but I'd give it all up to be rid of him once and for all.  His mother even came in to talk to me (through a translator) about her troublesome child, and even though I told her he does not pay attention and distracts other children, his behavior has not changed at all. 

On another note, (Gog you will appreciate this), we were teaching the kids how to greet people in a few languages.  Japanese, Hebrew, English, Maori, and German.  One kid asked 'Muggs Teacher, why American and no Korean?', to which I replied, 'Because without America, there would be no Korea.'  Obviously too young to understand the (kind of) joke, and the fact that the Americans fought to preserve a South Korean in the early 50's and have since stationed over 20,000 troops in the country just so Kim Jong-Il doesn't go a little too stir crazy and change the Republic of Korea into his Democratic (Ha!) Peoples Republic of Korea.  Despite that the elderly and less educated here will still spat at us or talk trash as we walk by and are offended hearing us speak too much English at a bar where they are yelling in Korean and coughing up lungs.  Yeah, so I hope that wasn't too stereotypical 'Amurcan', and no I won't be getting any tattoos with of a bald eagle holding a rose in its' mouth in front of a billowing Ol' Glory.  As many problems as America has, and it sure has plenty, it's still a pretty great country.  Especially because I can buy real cheese and turkey there. 
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True Summer 09/10/2009
 
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So after weeks of gray, the epitome of summer has finally arrived, and not a day too late.  We suffered through weeks and weeks of no color, thousands of tourists, annoying 'lifeguards' which can only help you during times of duress by blowing their whistles.  Koreans love whistles so much that while Paul and I were surfing a deserted beach just west of Sanbang-san, two random Koreans pulled their cars over, one broke out a whistle and decided to wave us in.  Obviously they weren't going to do anything else besides wave, and I'd put good money that they couldn't even swim.  So Paul and I ignored it until it was actually time to get out and head to school.  We had about a week to two week period of amazing surf here from typhoons, but I can barely remember it.  It's been about 3-4 weeks with nothing.  I mean Lake Linganore flat.  During the typhoon swell I had my biggest waves of my life out west of town.  Had a couple good days, but on the last one, the sheer power of the head and a half high surf snapped the tail off my board.  The next day it took Paul's nose from his board.  Prior to that it was a rush.  Huge drop-ins, ridiculously hard paddles and intimidating waves.
After that, there has been nothing.  It's been so flat that I ended up having time to get my advanced scuba cert.  I think I did 6 or 7 dives in 3 days including a night dive.  I went down to 30m, and also learned the basics of underwater navigation.  The night dive was by far the coolest part of the experience.  I was definitely nervous about it before being submersed, but after that, it was sheer exhilaration.  We began by putting all our gear together in the shop and doing a pre-dive briefing, and then we headed to the harbor.  We loaded up all our gear and hopped on the boat which dropped us of on a little cove on Munsom Island.  After suiting up and doing all our safety checks, we hopped in the water, being careful to time it right so we didn't hit a shallowly submerged rock.  In the water it was pitch black with a blue tint if we looked up towards the surface.  Immediately upon entering the water, our guide Ralf saw a squid flashing it's defense colors, squirting and swimming away.  During the dive we must have seen a dozen scorpion fish, 3 octopi, some catfish eels, file fish, lion fish and a huge stone fish.  The stone fish I actually found by accident.  If you don't know what it looks like, I suggest you google it.  It's a poisonous fish that blends in really well with its environment, and you don't really want to mess with it.  I found it b accident as I was about to plant my feet on the ground so that I could take a look at a few scorpion fish.  As I looked for a suitable place to land, I noticed a strange looking rock.  I got in a little closer and realized that it had eyes.  I signaled for everybody to come over look at it, at which point Ralf gave us the 'danger' signal.  All-in-all it was a pretty incredible dive. 

With this beautiful weather, I've been trying to camp more, and have spent the last couple weekends away from home.  I went the Chuja-myeon, a set of some 40 islands about two hours north west of Jeju-si and camped on a secluded pebble beach.  Followed that up with two nights at the Caribbean-esque Gimnyeong with Rob and Marion and eventually Justin.  I even had a the opportunity to go sailing in between Gimnyeong and Hamdeok (both on the northern side of the island.)   Gimnyeong was stunning with it's white sand and crystal blue water.  We were the only people camping in our little area under some pine trees and had a great time. 

Since the last post I've also purchased a bike.  Granted it's a pretty crappy mountain bike, but there aren't many options here and it was less than $50.  I've been trying to ride every other morning, at least from here to Supsom island which is only a 30 minute round trip.  It's short, but hilly like you wouldn't believe.  That ride is also gorgeous.  On one side I've got the pacific and the islands off Seogwipo, and on the other side there are tangerine fields and the volcano towering over everything. 

Other than those updates, nothing big has happened.  Unfortunately we've been losing a lot of good people off the island.  The toughest departure had to be Dave and Anna, but I have a feeling I'll see them again in the future.  It comes with the job and my lifestyle; you make friends only to leave them within weeks or months, maybe to never see them again.  But it's worth it getting to meet so many interesting people.  Really helps me see the world differently. 

This weekend I might go camp on Udo, but there's a night dive Saturday night, so I might skip the camping and stay and dive. 
Oh, one other thing, I might not be going on my surf trip post-Korea now that Pav might have to take classes.  Any suggestions on what to do?  I feel like I really should see something else over here before I depart.  One thought was going to a free diving camp in Thailand where they teach you to dive over to 30m with no mechanical equipment, and hold you breath for over 4 minutes!  Could be pretty incredible. 
 
Training Grounds 06/03/2009
 
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I got a little dawn patrol surf session this morning.  Woke up about 4:45 (insomnia pays off sometimes) and texted Paul till he woke up.  We hit the road shortly after 5:00 and were in the water around 5:30am.  We surfed near the point at Jungmun with 3 South Africans that are great surfers and pretty nice guys.  The break we were surfing was in about 3 feet of water over top of reef and lava rock.  It's a little sketchy surfing in shallow water, knowing that if you mess up, you could have a rough landing, but it was worth it.  99% of the waves coming in were lefts, and I'm not too confident going in that direction, so it was definitely a good chance for me to improve my abilities.  I only had a couple wipe-outs, that weren't too bad.  One wave, I got close to sneaking into a mini-barrel because I had a late take-off, but the lip just threw over me quickly, and I kept going outside.   I also had one of my best lefts ever.  It ran for about 75 meters, shoulder high, making a connection onto another wave that was curling around the point and the entire time I could see through the wave to the grey/white/black coral and stone beneath.  It was really gorgeous, and I feel so fortunate to be able to surf at such a beautiful spot with a good crowd.  I watched the sunrise over the architecturally-stunning convention center, saw the haze burn off of the neighboring cliffs and Oreums (mini-volcanoes that dot the island) and surfed in crystal blue water.   Does it get much better than that?
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Jungmun before sunrise
 
 

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon.  A bunch of us had been out for Ken's birthday till the wee hours of the morning.  Some of the party-goers probably watched the sunrise before going to bed.  Not Ken.  And definitely not me.  I hate wasting a day due to hangovers.  Plus Sunday was supposed to be my moving day.  Meaghan, Paul and I were sitting in the 'Orange Restaurant' having a typical $5 lunch, and talking about what time they'd help me move.  I said f-it.  It's sunny and warm, lets go explore.  And away we went. 

Our journey this gorgeous weekend found as exploring Donnaeko Falls.   It's a little system of 2-3 decent sized falls, and a few really tiny ones; all with crystal blue water.  Water you can see down 30 feet in.  When we arrived at Donnaeko (15 minutes from home) there was nary a soul there.  We had the whole place to ourselves.  Since the temperature was relatively nice, and the water looked great (and there was no surf anywhere...), Paul and I decided to jump in.  The cliff height was somewhere in the 15-20 foot range, depending on your pride.  And the water was probably below 60, based on the shrinkage of my testicles. 

Jumping in was a litle nerve-wracking, but well worth it.  And the water was in fact cold, but we warmed up in the sun and by climing on rocks.  I eventually climbed my way North on the riverbed and found another pool, although not as deep, and a non-running fall.  Even farther North was a dried up waterfall with a nice little cave behind it. 

The entire area was awe-inspiring and overall relaxing beyond belief.  Aparently we have until June to enjoy it, because that's when Korean's start to swim.  Well, I'll definitely be there a few more times before then.

 
 

It's been awhile since I last posted, but that doesn't mean it's because nothing has been happening.  Since I acquired my lovely blue van (name suggestions still being accepted) I've been exploring as much as possible.  We've spent a couple days in the SW side of the island, trying to find some reclusive surf spots, exploring volcanic beaches with small caves.  We've spent a day on the Eastern side of the island checking out scenic cliffs overlooking the blue water and exploring a lagoon and the water-smoothed canyon that leads to it.  It's all just been so incredible.  The natural beauty of this island is stunning, and I don't think I'll ever become tired of it. 

When I explored the beach near Sanbang-san, I was totally enthralled by the different forms of basalt, the little caves and the brown sand.  It was one of the coolest beaches I've ever been to (minus the factory down the shore) and I can't wait to surf there and have bonfires.  In one area, the lava had cooled very slowly, forming these polygonal chairs that almost looked manufactured.  I tried climbing around on some of the cliffs, but it was a little nerve-racking having the sharp and porous rock breaking off in my hand.  There is potential for good bouldering, but I'll have to go back a few times to figure it out. 

On the East side, we made it all the way out to Pyoseon beach, which was probably the longest beach I have seen.  It seemed like there was a quarter mile of sand before you even made it to the water.  No need for beach-renourishment there.  Unfortunately the day was a little over cast, so we couldn't appreciate it as much as we would have had there been sunny skies, but it was still nice to see.  At the canyon, Paul, Cliffton and I spent about 45 minutes throwing rocks at other rocks.  Pretty mature for a bunch of 20-somethings, right?  The way the rock in the canyon flowed looked just like a stone river.  You could see exactly how the river leading from Halla-san had shaped this channel all the way down to the lagoon/inlet.  There'd be some great sloper bouldering there, but the rock is as smooth as glass. 

In other news, I'm FINALLY moving to a new apartment.  I'm getting out of this depressing, tiny, squid-smelling apartment.  I'm moving to Hyorim Sky/Hyolim Sky (I'm not exactly sure how to pronounce it, you know Koreans at that whole L/R pickle).  It has been a 3 month battle in which I finally had to lay out an ultimatum with the directors before I coud get into a new place.  Unfortunately I had been promised one of the beautiful. large apartments on the 7th floor, only to have it mysteriously sold out from under us 9 days before I was supposed to move in.  Of course with my luck, it also happened to be the last of the large apartments available, so instead I'll be moving to one of the medium sized apartments on the 9th floor.  I'm fine with it.  I have some friends on that level, and I think I have a corner apartment, so it'll be pretty nice.  But really, anything is better than this place. 

Tonight I'm going out for Ken's birthday (age withheld) to get some spicy Galbi and then throw some darts.  Should be a good time, although my body still doesn't like to sit on the floor, cross-legged. 

 I think I'm moving tomorrow, so I should have some pics of the new place and the view up by my Monday night.

PS  There's a picture of 'Dexter Rock' on the Pics page.  You'll know it when you see it.

 
Surfing 03/22/2009
 

It's about time.  I waited forever to get my new beloved blue van.  Yes, I'm now a van guy.  I purchased a used Kia (it was either a Kia, Daewoo or Hyundai) van for about $1000US so that I could tour the island, and most importantly; haul my boards to the beach.  Paul and Stephen and I headed down to Jungmun Saturday, hoping for some swell based on the wind data, but we were sorely disappointed.  The day wasn't a total bust though, we ended up exploring a little more to the west and seeing stunning Sangbang-san with a possible break in front of it.  (Picture of Sangbang-san included on this page)  I even ventured down a random road (thanks Stephen) that was about 6 inches wider than my van.  Everytime I was thinking about attempting a turnaround in a driveway, I kept being urged on.  So I continued to drive, branches scraping the side of the van, tangerines within arms-reach.  We finally poked out onto a major road, much to my relief.  So after the adventure, we ended up at Gecko's for a burger and fries to make as feel a little better after being denied surf.
Today was a different story.  We decided to give it another shot and drive down to Jungmun around 11am and pray for surf.  Upon arriving, our hearts were collectively pounding.  We'd seen white-water in the harbor, so we knew that there should be some chop building at the beach.  Paul and Stephen jumped out of the van and sprinted to the overlook.  As I parked and got out of the car, I could see them hi-fiving and jumping up and down.  It could only mean one thing; it was time to surf.  They ran back up to the Beast, and we got the boards out, put the fins on, waxed up and climbed into the cold weather gear.  Paul is from Australia, and Stephen has been living in Hawai'i for the past 10 years, so they're both a little spoiled.  The water was a realtively nice 59-60 degrees.  I wore my fullsuit with no booties or gloves and was comfortable the whole time.  Paul definitely got a little chilly towards the end of the session and Stephen didn't stop complaining about it.  I have to give Paul props; it was probably the coldest water he's ever surfed in, and he was only wearing a spring suit.  Stephen on the otherhand is orginially from New York, so he should have known what was going to be coming. 
  Anyway, the surf was running about shoulder high with occasionally larger sets.  The winds were howling offshore, and even in our semi-protected cove, the spray coming off the lip could be blinding.  At Jungmun, the waves break in pretty deep water.  It's super clear here, and I definitely couldn't make out any semblance or resemblance of the bottom.  It was a ridiculously long paddle (Assateague like...) and I actually had to get out, and go closer to the rock point and use the rip to get me out to where I could paddle back into the bowl where the waves were actually hitting.  It was a pretty decent day, although I'm so far from paddle-shape it's embarassing.  We all looked a little rusty out there, but held our own.  The first time I stood up, was like my first time all over again.  I was nervous, I was over-thinking where I was planting my feet, which way I should go on the wave, if I was popping up to early or late, and if I was going to make it.  I made it, and road it for a little bit till it just died on me and I basically walked into the water off my board.  I only got about 5 waves all day because every time a huge set came in, it seemed to be forming further and further out.   It was also pretty draining to paddle for 20 minutes to get out there, and I had little energy to actually paddle for a wave. 
All-in-all it was a good day.  Today was actually the first time I've even touched water in the Pacific (even though this is the where the Yellow Sea and the East Sea meet, it's still part of the Pacific).  It felt so good to get in there, to stand up on a few waves, make a couple turns on the slow waves, and look at the beauty of the basalt cliffs we were facing.  It was probably the most gorgeous surf spot I've ever been in, especially when the little waterfall started flowing from near the Hyatt.  There's another smaller more secluded cove about 400m West of where we surf, but I don't think it breaks as well as our beach.  It is stunning though.  I sit here now, typing, and my heart is racing all over again thinking about surfing.  I know I'll be sore tomorrow, but right now, I'm just ecstatic. 

Today was finally another one of those days that make me so happy to be on Jeju, even though I'd like to have the GOG out here for the surf sessions. 

 
Korean Penis 03/12/2009
 

I'm sure the title of this post will baffle most at first, and intrigue many.  Before I begin, I'd like to evoke an immortal series of lines from Seinfeld:  (Or Steinfeldt as my Grandmother Mary refers to it)

Let's see, (thinking) how shall I put this.

Just put it.

He took it out.

He what?

He took (blows on her glasses twice to clean them) it out.

He took what out?

It.

He took It, Out?

Yessiree Bob.

He couldn't.

He did.

It?

It.

Out?

Out.

And yes folks, that happened to me at work yesterday.  During a little phonics building activity known as the 'Pink Box Game' (ironically enough), a student we refer to as 'Dexter' decided I had been in Korea way too long without having seen my first Korean penis.  Keep in mind, I'd made miniature corndogs for the cooking class, so I was pretty sure I'd gotten the gist, but apparently that was just not satisfying enough for young Dexter.(Please also keep in mind that I lived with a toddler and his family for a month or so, who's counting, when I moved to Florida, and I never once saw his membrum virile despite sharing a bathroom with the little guy.  His father is a different story...) During our Pink Box Game as I asked kids to identify cards with pictures of a Boat, a Book, a Bat, and a Ball on them, Dexter began tucking in his shirt.  Or so I thought.  The child rarely pays attention to any lesson, even the ones that somehow strike basic interest in the congregation, and this exercise was no different.  Perhaps Dexter interpreted my 'Please answer this question correctly so I don't feel like I'm talking to a wall with a bad haircut' look as a sign of genuine curiosity into the workings of the young Korean anatomy.  Unfortunately for Dexter, he could not have been more wrong.  My member is the only one I do not mind seeing.  And that is being generous.  (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)  If I am forced to see the minor extremities of another male, I would pray it not be that of an adolescent, let alone a neonate. 
So there I was, face-to-little-purple-phallus and stunned.  Dexter sat there with a sly grin on his face, that I read as 'Yep, take it all in, this ain't no Gimbap roll'.  I'm not exactly sure of my word usage during the proceeding 10 seconds, but I believe it went something like this;
'Dexter!  No!  Ahni!  Hajima, hajima!!! Go, get out!  Are you kidding me?  Put that thing away!"  (Ahni means NO and Hajima is basically  Don't Do That)
Unfortunately, my wonderful Korean co-teacher named Candy speaks only very basic English and does not know the English word for 음경.  So there I was, escorting Dexter into the hallway (Candy was already out there disciplining/talking to a student that had been misbehaving) and attempting to play charades to let her know that young Dexter had whipped out his wang in front of me and the whole class.  All she could do was laugh, as I walked back into the classroom, trying to refocus and clear that disturbing and minuscule image from my innocent mind. 
Dexter was spoken to, and sent back into class shortly thereafter, with the same sly look on his face.  I guess I can chalk all this up to cultural differences.  I mean, the kids here will try to poke you in the anus if you bend over, poke you in the fly if you are standing up in front of them and will smack your butt just for fun.  I've even learned that elderly Korean women will often ask to see the penis of a vernal youth because it is considered very cute when it's that young and immature. 

Perhaps that's why I get all those propositions on the street late at night...

Here's to cultural relativism!

 
 

First of all, thanks Niall for the postcard all the way from Ghana.  Very impressive. 
In reference to the title, there's a little sarcasm involved.  On the weekends, I actually think about how happy I am to be here and how gorgeous this island can be.  I love walking down to the park overlooking the harbor and playing basketball with some friends and the local Korean kids.  I'll never get sick of visiting the 'touristy' sites around the area.  There is so much natural beauty here that it's some times mind-boggling.  Once it warms up (it's already consistently in the mid to upper 50's with the rare 60F day), I'll be able to snorkel, swim in the ocean, cliff dive, and have bonfires on the beach accompanied by drum music from our Senegalese friends.  Once the snow melts off Halla-san, I'll be able to hike and not freeze/get soaked and the waterfalls will be even more impressive.  Lauran will be here in just over a month, and I am counting down the days for her arrival and trying to plan out perfect itinerary for the duration of her trip. 

I think about all that wonderful stuff rapidly approaching, and then I have a day like yesterday that drags me right back into reality.  Teaching here really has it's ups and downs.  Some days I love it, some days I hate it.  The kids can be really cute and fun, or they can be little devils that you would rather never see again.  Yesterday was one of those down days.  We just switched up our students and classes to coincide with the school year change, and everything is in turmoil.  Our morning class numbers have nearly doubled, and the kids know drastically less English, making them harder to control, and slowing down all lessons, while raising the teachers' stress levels.  The afternoon classes have even grown, and kids are sometimes being haphazardly thrown in there without a ton of consideration as to their educational level.  I have 2 students who can barely even sound out the letters of the alphabet, but have been moved up from their remedial class, to the next step because it is a new session.  It doesn't matter that they slow the entire class down.  It doesn't matter that they are trouble-makers and need constant supervision.  It doesn't matter that the kids have legitimate learning disabilities and can barely learn Korean, as long as their parents are paying money.  Often times parents refuse to acknowledge that their kids are behind or have problems because they are too proud.  There is very little educational assistance or even psychiatric assistance, for that matter, around here.  Many Koreans suffer because of that, and will be looked down upon in society, when different avenues could have been taken to guide them in the right direction.   I have had a vast majority of students without books, chairs or other educational utensils because of a lack of preparation on the schools' part.  I've had to leave little kids to destroy a room, while I explored others for their old books that we needed for class.  The school worries about having everything prepared for when parents come for orientation, but don't seem to be as concerned with whether or not the kids are in a positive learning environment.  It's all in the appearances.  So anyway, yesterday was just miserable.  The kids were acting up, not listening, were not prepared, were ahead of or way behind the rest of the class, didn't have their books, didn't have English names (which are basically required at school), and we didn't even have paper to make copies of text books or make word-searches/crosswords to keep them occupied.  It definitely took it's toll on all the teachers; Korean or Western, and raised stress levels to monumental levels.  Things just piled up until we were all at our breaking points.  Plus we were promised no more than 8 students in our solo classes, but are magically getting 9+ with only a brief 'I'm sorry, but you'll be fine". 

On top of all that other stuff, my bathroom had a leak from the ceiling, and smells like smoke if I turn the fan off.  Plus it's just depressing in here.  The prositute nextdoor that wakes me up at 4am (not from having sex, but from TB type coughs) doesn't help my attitude or my insomnia.  In addition, I thought I ordered chicken fingers at a street-meat stand the other day (I even asked if it was chicken in Korean, and was told yes) only to bite into the fried treat to pull out an octopus tentacle.  Not really that appetizing for me anymore.    Meaghan, Paul and I went out for lunch at a local sushi place that was really nice, but we couldn't read the menu at all.  I ended up with some sort of hard conch-like meat that I couldn't bite through, clear potato noodles, octopus tentacles, and some other random sea creatures which I didn't recognize.  Really not helping out my spirits at all.  Then, my package from my parents was dropped off on Monday, and they forgot to ask for the COD that I was told about.  Awesome, right?  Nope, they just came back the next day and told me to pay.  I was going to refuse, I mean, what can they do, take back the delivery?  But the Korean director paid, and now they will be taking it out of my paycheck.  Ugh...  Just so much crap that stressed me out, and it kept adding up higher and higher.  I was not going to drink at all this week.  I thought it would be good to improve the health of my liver, and keep my money in my pocket.  Tuesday ruined that.  I stopped and picked up a 1.5 litre Cass Red (higher alcohol percentage beer) for 4-5,000Won and a bottle of Scotch. Upon arriving home I got a really sweet message from Lauran, which made me feel much better, so I ended up only having half the beer, and 2 Scotches on the rocks.  Plus of course the dried seaweed that I love so much.  I seriously eat 2-3 packs a night.   I was so frustrated, I intended on consuming the entire vat of beer, and bottle of Scotch.  Thankfully that was avoided.  Oh, and I grabbed dinner at Paris Baggette.  A nice little coffee and pastry shop around the corner where I used to steal internet to talk to Lauran and have tea in the morning.  Last night I grabbed a doughnut, some other pizza type pastry and a delicious apple pie type streudel thing. 

Today was a little better, I had a couple of classes that I really like.  One makes a serious effort at speaking to me in (broken) English, and they subsequently help me learn a new Korean word every now-and-again, and improve my pronunciation.  (They even told me that I pronounced 'chicken' correctly in Korean, and thought it was hilarious that I received octopus instead.  Most of them love it, and eat it alive.  Not like sushi, like still moving.)  On the way home I stopped at my (now favorite) street-meat stand, picked up some REAL chicken fingers, and a kabob looking thing with mouth-watering sweet and sour sauce for less than 4,000Won.  (Around $3.20.)  The place is right across the alley/street from my hotel, so it is quickly becoming a reliable alternative to cooking. 

Well, I think I might just finish my Cass Red, have some seaweed, watch a movie and go to sleep, all the while hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.  It's always one day closer to my first visitor!

 
 
All photos taken by Muggs are not to be copied, borrowed, printed or stolen without his permission. Any text is not to be copied or repeated without permission.