I'm sure the title of this post will baffle most at first, and intrigue many. Before I begin, I'd like to evoke an immortal series of lines from Seinfeld: (Or Steinfeldt as my Grandmother Mary refers to it)
Let's see, (thinking) how shall I put this.
Just put it.
He took it out.
He what?
He took (blows on her glasses twice to clean them) it out.
He took what out?
It.
He took It, Out?
Yessiree Bob.
He couldn't.
He did.
It?
It.
Out?
Out.
And yes folks, that happened to me at work yesterday. During a little phonics building activity known as the 'Pink Box Game' (ironically enough), a student we refer to as 'Dexter' decided I had been in Korea way too long without having seen my first Korean penis. Keep in mind, I'd made miniature corndogs for the cooking class, so I was pretty sure I'd gotten the gist, but apparently that was just not satisfying enough for young Dexter.(Please also keep in mind that I lived with a toddler and his family for a month or so, who's counting, when I moved to Florida, and I never once saw his membrum virile despite sharing a bathroom with the little guy. His father is a different story...) During our Pink Box Game as I asked kids to identify cards with pictures of a Boat, a Book, a Bat, and a Ball on them, Dexter began tucking in his shirt. Or so I thought. The child rarely pays attention to any lesson, even the ones that somehow strike basic interest in the congregation, and this exercise was no different. Perhaps Dexter interpreted my 'Please answer this question correctly so I don't feel like I'm talking to a wall with a bad haircut' look as a sign of genuine curiosity into the workings of the young Korean anatomy. Unfortunately for Dexter, he could not have been more wrong. My member is the only one I do not mind seeing. And that is being generous. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) If I am forced to see the minor extremities of another male, I would pray it not be that of an adolescent, let alone a neonate.
So there I was, face-to-little-purple-phallus and stunned. Dexter sat there with a sly grin on his face, that I read as 'Yep, take it all in, this ain't no Gimbap roll'. I'm not exactly sure of my word usage during the proceeding 10 seconds, but I believe it went something like this;
'Dexter! No! Ahni! Hajima, hajima!!! Go, get out! Are you kidding me? Put that thing away!" (Ahni means NO and Hajima is basically Don't Do That)
Unfortunately, my wonderful Korean co-teacher named Candy speaks only very basic English and does not know the English word for 음경. So there I was, escorting Dexter into the hallway (Candy was already out there disciplining/talking to a student that had been misbehaving) and attempting to play charades to let her know that young Dexter had whipped out his wang in front of me and the whole class. All she could do was laugh, as I walked back into the classroom, trying to refocus and clear that disturbing and minuscule image from my innocent mind.
Dexter was spoken to, and sent back into class shortly thereafter, with the same sly look on his face. I guess I can chalk all this up to cultural differences. I mean, the kids here will try to poke you in the anus if you bend over, poke you in the fly if you are standing up in front of them and will smack your butt just for fun. I've even learned that elderly Korean women will often ask to see the penis of a vernal youth because it is considered very cute when it's that young and immature.
Perhaps that's why I get all those propositions on the street late at night...
Here's to cultural relativism!
|
MuggsJust a little journal about my life. Click 'Comments' or the Titles if you'd like to add anything. The words printed here are concepts. You must go through the experiences.
|